The Prank War
by InkstainedHands1177
Summary: Corporal Levi's squad is in for some serious giggles, bruises, and laughs when Hanji gets an idea to liven things up a little… ((I do not own Attack on Titan, or any of its characters.))
1. Chapter 1: The Instigator

The Prank War

Chapter 1: The Instigator

Hanji smiled at Eren as he walked into her lab. It was like any other day for him, but for her today would be the beginning of a special and highly entertaining experiment.

Eren wasn't all that great in reading people's expressions; however, it wasn't too hard to realize that Hanji was about to do something catastrophic that would probably mark the end to mankind as they knew it. "Is something wrong, Hanji-san?" _Stupid! Stupid! Don't ask! Just run away! Run away and hide until this blows over!_ Hanji looked at him and her glasses flashed and her smile stretched to manic proportions. Seriously, she broke several known laws about the human body's muscular structure.

"Nothing's wrong Eren. I won't need to you to take off your clothes today. Actually, I was thinking of taking a break from all that and just asking some questions about your thought processes as a Titan." She picked up her clipboard and pen and started to write something. "As far as you can tell, is there any difference to you mentally from that of a Titan to that of a human boy?"

Eren blinked. This was…different. He sat down cautiously. If he had learned anything about Hanji, it was that she never did anything without a reason. A twisted, irrational reason, but a reason nonetheless. "Umm…I guess it's harder for me to retain memories of the two forms. When I'm a Titan I can only remember key events in my life, and when I'm a human it's hard to remember exactly what I did as a Titan."

She nodded so hard that Eren thought her head would fly off. "Good, good. Now, have you ever felt any fear as a Titan? Or mischief? Have you noticed anything as a Titan that would have caused you to laugh as a human?"

Eren thought about it. "Actually there was one time that I did feel fear. It was when I first transformed. The Titans were swarming me and eating me. I did feel fear then, but it wasn't a paralyzing fear, it was a fear that would easily turn to anger. As for the humor, I don't know if you remember but once, when I was a Titan and I was doing jumping jacks for you, I saw Jean accidently push Corporal Levi into the river. The sound I made then was actually laughter."

Hanji dropped her pen and stared at him. "That was what you sounded like laughing!? Oh my gosh! Ohhhh myyyy goshhhhh!" She squealed. Eren really didn't understand her sometimes.

They talked for an hour more until Eren's throat became scratchy. Hanji gave him some water and they continued talking. After about fifteen minutes Eren's eyes began to droop. Hanji noticed this with a twinkle in her eyes. "Eren, you look tired. Maybe you should lie down some?" Eren nodded and stumbled out the door. Mike let him into his dungeon room and he crashed onto his bed. He slept for two hours until Mike woke him up for dinner.

Hanji walked into the dining room, her mind filled with wonderful little schemes.

"Oi! Shitty glasses, what makes you so maniacally happy? Planning someone's demise?"

_Yes, Levi, yours._ Her smile widened. "Oh no! I'm just happy. I made some headway with my Titan research with Eren!" She walked into the kitchen. The recruits hadn't come down to dinner yet. Perfect! She slipped her formula into the water supply. That should last them all till the end of the week! She nearly started giggling. She got her food and started back to the table.

All throughout dinner she watched as every single member of the Recon group drink at least two glasses of water. She smiled and then froze. Levi! He was drinking tea! She wanted to bang her head against the wall, but then she stopped. _Wait! This is even better than my last plan!_


	2. Chapter 2: It Has Begun

Chapter 2: It Has Begun

The next day, Eren walked down the hall with a bucket and scrub rag in hand. _If only Levi would accidentally loose his cleaning supplies!_ Eren stopped walking. A slow smile spread across his tanned face. _And why not?_ Eren He looked around and then slipped into the cleaning closet that held every single cleaning supply in the castle. Even Levi's own precious collection. It was too early in the day for anyone to start their cleaning yet. The only reason he was awake was because Levi wanted him to clean Eren's room.

Eren snagged a cart and started loading it up. He snuck out of the castle without even being seen, surprisingly. He took the cart way into the wood and hid it in a deep ditch, down near the river. He returned as quickly as he could. He organized his room, so that it had the appearance of being cleaned and then went back to sleep.

Now while this mischief was being done, Levi was in his quarters with Erwin talking over some scouting plans. Erwin hadn't been at the castle last night, instead opting to visit Commander Pixis about something dealing with the government.

"Very well, Levi. I guess that concludes what I needed to tell you. I best get back to town."

Levi nodded. Personally, today was his favorite day, and he couldn't wait to get started. "Good bye sir." He walked Erwin to his office door and, after the man had gone, started preparing himself for the wonderful exercise of cleaning. He walked out of his room only to see the new recruits wandering aimlessly around with stupidly confused faces. It got even worse when he saw his own squad looking at him with petrified expressions. "Oi, brats! What's going on? Today is all about cleaning, so clean!"

It was his turn to be confused, because once he said that all the recruits and even his own personal squad adopted a look of absolute terror. They suddenly started shuffling and murmurs could be heard of 'You tell him!' and 'No, you tell him, you know him better.' Finally Petra was pushed forward and she blanched as she realized that she was out of the safety of the mass numbers.

"Um, sir, the cleaning closet is…uh…cleaned out…" She suddenly blanched at her choice of words. Erd snickered, until he caught Levi's venomous glare, then it died rather quickly.

"What are you talking about?!" He marched over to the cleaning closet and threw the door open, and…froze. Gone. All his precious materials, gone. Even his own personal supply. _Who DARES touch my cleaning materials?_ Levi couldn't believe it. The impossible had happened. _If I ever catch the one responsible I will force him to clean the whole castle with his tongue._

The Recon recruits and squad as a whole, once they saw his murderous expression, gasped, and stepped two steps back. Levi turned, slowly, around and stared into the eyes of every single one of his men. Each in turn either paled even more than they had been before, which was another anatomically impossible feat, or looked down at his or her boots. The only pair of eyes that didn't look away were green.

Levi's eyes narrowed at the thought. _No, Eren doesn't have the guts, besides, he's the quickest of the lot to obey me._ He dispelled that thought quickly. "Who is responsible for this prank? This horrific form of BLASPHEMY?!"

As one, they all turned and ran, because they knew, that no matter if the one responsible confessed or not, Levi was in the mood to impale anyone within reach with his blades.


	3. Chapter 3: It Will Continue

Chapter 3: It Will Continue

The rest of the day was spent avoiding Corporal Levi. Everyone was shocked that someone of their own group was stupid enough (or brave, it depends on your attitude) to do something that they had only dreamed of doing. Eren held back all his snickers and giggles and acted just the way he was supposed to act.

The atmosphere of the castle was that of impending doom. Even the irrepressible Hanji knew enough to keep silent. All of this was going marvelously according to her plan. She knew that this prank was only the beginning…

Armin, sweet, kind, positive thinking, Armin was staring at his gear in disgust. Connie and Jean had tangled his gear up. TANGLED IT UP! They knew training practice was about to start in a half an hour. He had taken it off to take a shower only to come back to it in a heap of intricate knots. His eyes narrowed. Of all the dirty, underhanded, cruel (because it was cruel, knowing exactly the state of mind the corporal was in Armin was going to get zero mercy for being late or unprepared), and just plain mean pranks to pull, they had to do this!? With a heavy heart and a heavy sigh, Armin sat down and started his task.

When he had finished, twenty-five minutes later, he grabbed his gear and put on his straps while running outside with the others. He would get them back. He promised himself he would. Jean and Connie had NO idea what they were getting themselves into. Ticking off a genius…Armin was a nice guy, and he got angry very rarely, but when he did even Mikasa and Eren knew to take cover.

After training Armin slipped off to Hanji's lab. He knocked on the door and received a 'come in!'.

"Miss Hanji-san? Connie was asking me if you would mind meeting him an hour after dinner in the mess hall. He was too shy to ask himself, but he was wondering about your research. He wants to learn all about it, every detail." At Hanji's ecstatic gleam in her eyes, Armin almost felt sorry for Connie. Almost.

He quickly left the lab and went in search for Connie. He was outside talking with Ymir. "Hey Connie! I need to tell you something. Do ya mind, Ymir, I need to talk in private?"

Ymir nodded, but paused when she saw a gleam in Armin's eyes. She shuddered. She knew from experience that quiet people, once ticked, almost always gave a big explosion, and someone had ticked Armin pretty good. "Sure. See ya later genius!" Connie gave her a shove.

"Hey Armin. What's up?"

"I was wondering, did Jean mess with my stuff today?" _Play it dumb. Make him blame Jean and relax._ The look of relief in Connie's eyes wasn't lost on Armin.

"Yeah, he begged me not to tell you. You're not sore about it, are you Armin?"

"No! No, why should I be. Just a little prank. Didn't do any harm…" _No harm my foot. I only got shit beaten out of me by Corporal Levi for being late is all…_

Connie smiled in relief. Armin spoke up. "Anyway, I wanted to tell you what Krista told me. It seems that Sasha is planning on doing a raid on the kitchen an hour after dinner and was wondering if you wanted to go with her? Ya know, Connie, Krista says that Sasha really likes you…"

Connie's eyes lit up. Armin felt a pang of guilt at messing with his friend, but then he remembered his bruises and all guilt vanished. Tonight was going to be good.

Armin kept both Hanji and Sasha from talking to Connie all during dinner. He mentally patted himself on his back. Now 45 minutes after dinner he settled himself down in his hiding place just outside of the dining hall. _Here comes Hanji! And here comes Connie._ Armin indulged himself in mental maniacal laughter. Being the evil genius had it's perks. He almost gave himself away when he saw Connie's confused face transform into a look of pure and unadulterated anger that was quickly replaced by sheer panic. Too late, he realized that Armin had tricked him. Hanji did not let him escape, or even speak actually. Armin, once assured that Connie would be forced to listen to everything, slipped away to his room and had a good night's rest.


	4. Chapter 4: Long Awaited Revenge

Chapter 4: Long Awaited Revenge

The next morning Levi left for the town to get new cleaning supplies. The castle seemed to heave a sigh of relief at his departure, or maybe it was only the occupants. Hanji had enjoyed her conversation with Connie. It was wonderful being able to explain her experiments with a likeminded person, though he did seem less responsive around 4: 45 AM… He had enjoyed himself so much that he had actually burst into tears when she said she needed to go. That had been around 6:30 AM.

Everyone filed in for breakfast. For some reason Jean had traces of tar in his hair and was glaring at Armin. Connie had fallen asleep in his soup. Armin was excitedly talking to Eren about the perfect prank he wanted to play, and how Eren just had to help him pull it off. Ymir was glaring at Sasha and Sasha was giggling. Krista was just shaking her head with amusement.

Mikasa wondered what was getting into her, into all of them. All morning long she's been thinking of how to play pranks on people, even Eren! She took a sip of her water. Like now, Sasha was walking by her with a plate loaded with food, and all Mikasa wanted to do was trip her, but that was a waste of food and it was mean. Mikasa shook her head. It was hard but she was going to ignore these whims. Until she saw Levi leave the castle on horseback. _I still haven't gotten that bastard back for what he did to Eren…hmm…I think I'll just go up and pay his office a visit while he's gone…_ Mikasa went to the kitchen and dumped her plate in the sink. The pantry cupboard caught her eye. If there was one thing that was plentiful, it was honey… She smiled with wicked glee. She opened one of the kitchen drawers and got a ball of string. She then let out an uncharacteristic giggle.

Sneaking into his office and bedroom had been amazingly easy. His door was unlocked. Armed with a big honey jar, glue, a large ball of string, a bucket of dirt (it was actually mud), and plenty of straws of hay, Mikasa stood in the center of his room and started visualizing what she would destroy first. She set everything down and locked the door.

Taking the string she tied one end to the window and looped it in and around the objects on his desk and around his chair. With that same string, she tied it tautly to the bathroom knob (his bathroom door opened inwards, cue maniacal laughter). She then proceeded to his bathroom where she poured a thin string of honey on his toilet seat. She took out his shampoo jar and replaced it with glue. Lucky for her it was the same color. Leaving the bathroom, she headed straight to his bedroom, specifically, his bed. Eren had taught (the hard way) how to short sheet someone's bed, now she was putting that hard learned lesson to good use.

She left the bed and headed over to Levi's closet. She slipped the string into and out of his clothes, tying knots, and generally making a mess. She poured honey all over his closet door knobs and slapped the mud on his boots. Hopefully they would get encrusted by the time he came back. She then proceeded to pour the mud all over his floor and walls, sticking hay all over the place.

With that done Mikasa looked over the rest of her supplies. She had a little bit of glue, string, and honey left. She glued his nightstand drawers shut, and tied his uniform straps in knots. _Now, what to do with the string and honey?_ She straightened up and looked around the room. She smiled.

By the time she was finished, Levi's neat, tidy, and clean room looked like a spider's web of string. She took the bucket, the honey jar, and the glue jar and left.

Mikasa put the now empty honey jar back in the kitchen and the bucket in the stables, however, she put the glue jar under Aururo's bed (Spelling?). _Serves him right. Freaking out Eren like that!_

**Poor Levi. Everything seems to be happening to him lately. Well, I'm really sorry about the long wait. Life is really busy. Moving and no internet can make updating a pain. Anyway, hoped you enjoyed this! **

**= )**


	5. Chapter 5: Sever Repercussions

Chapter 5: Severe Repercussions

Erwin had come back from town with Levi just in time for lunch. Levi had wanted to go to his room but Erwin had something important to tell both of them. He, Levi, and Hanji were sitting at a separate table away from both the recruits and Levi's squad. Erwin was watching the recruits. Mikasa was acting weird. In fact, everyone, except Hanji and Levi and himself, were acting weird. There was only one reason for weirdness, and that always turned out to be Hanji.

"Okay Hanji. What's going on? What have you done now?" He hadn't meant for it to sound so harsh, but honestly, every time he turned around Hanji had done something to cause some sort of mess.

Hanji paused, fork hovering halfway to her mouth.

"Shut your mouth Shitty Glasses! I don't want to see your food!"

She closed her mouth and pouted. "Honestly, Commander, I don't know what you're talking about! I haven't done anything! I've been holed up in my lab with Eren all day."

Erwin rolled his eyes. "Then why is everyone acting so weird? Earlier this morning I found a dead mouse in my boot! And if you look over there you'll see Mikasa _laughing_! Are these just the signs of the apocalypse?"

Levi gave Hanji a shrewd glance. "You're right, Erwin. Something's up. My cleaning supplies were stolen and no one has confessed yet."

Erwin's infamous eyebrows joined his hairline. "Someone. Stole. Your. Cleaning. Supplies?! Do they have a death wish?!"

Levi rolled his eyes and said in a monotone. "Whatever. I got new stuff today. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going up to my room to rest."

Erwin nodded and turned back to find Hanji running out the door screaming something about her experiment burning. Come to think of it, he could smell smoke and something rancid. He heard the new recruits laughing at Hanji. He also heard Levi's steady stream of expletives about Hanji making messes.

Erwin was just coming back from the kitchen with his second cup of coffee when he heard a terrifying scream of rage. The sound was like Eren screaming in his Titan form. Everyone went still. The door was actually ripped off its hinges and everyone got to see exactly what a pissed off, murderous Levi _really_ looked like.

"WHO?!" Levi's voice was hoarse, but that only seemed to make him more frightening. "WHO DID IT?!"

No one spoke. No one breathed. No one moved.

Levi looked around, his head whipping back and forth and a cat's twitching tail. And then, Levi smiled. As one the whole group in the lunch hall inhaled. That was not a friendly smile.

"Alright. If the real guilty party will not come forward, then I'll treat you all like the guilty party. First, one of you steals my cleaning supplies, and NOW you trash my room!"

Petra and Erwin whispered an 'Oh no!'. Everyone else whispered. 'We are so, so dead."

Levi gestured to the now destroyed doorway. "I know my own squad would never do this, so, I'm going to ask the new recruits to come to my room and clean it up. If I see anyone slacking, or trying to run away, I will immediately come to the conclusion that they are the guilty party and I will kill them as ruthlessly as I have killed Titans." The look in Levi's eyes told everyone that he was not kidding.

Jean, Connie, Armin, Eren, Reiner, Berthold, Ymir, Sasha, Krista, and Mikasa all followed Levi into his room.

Of course Reiner would be the first to say. "Damn! This place is a _mess_!"

They all started to get to work. Eren went to the closet to untangle the clothes. Connie opened the bathroom door right when Sasha screamed. "Connie DON'T!" Too late, everything on Levi's desk went crashing down to the floor. Connie looked up as Levi approached him. He did the next best thing. He locked himself in the bathroom.

Levi pounded on the door. "Springer! Open this door NOW!"

Connie mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like. "Not by the hair on my chiny-chin-chin…"

Levi growled something, thankfully incoherent, and moved away from the bathroom. "Get back to work!" He leaned against his bedroom door, like an avenging angel deciding which demon to kill.

Mikasa was picking up all Levi's desk objects, trying furiously to cover her smirk. Eren went over to her and started cutting the string away. "You did this, didn't you?"

_Good old Eren. Never knew you were that perceptive._ "How did you know?"

Eren smirked and continued untangling the string. "Only a person with a vendetta or a death wish would go so far as to do this. And you, my dear sister, have the biggest vendetta of us all."

Mikasa smiled. "Have you satisfied it?" Eren murmured.

"No." Eren looked sharply at his sister, and then slowly, he smirked. Poor Levi Heichou.

**Poor Levi, everyone seems to be picking on him lately…anyway, there's a small spoiler about Ymir in here so be careful! **


	6. Chapter 6: A Poorly Thought Out Prank

**Poor Levi, everyone seems to be picking on him lately…anyway, there's a small spoiler about Ymir in here so be careful! **

Chapter 6- A Poorly Thought Out Prank

If there was one thing Krista didn't like it was spiders. She HATED spiders. And sure enough, what d'ya think she found in her bed that night? Yup, spiders.

The whole castle could hear her screams. By the time all the soldiers gathered around then found a sobbing blonde in Ymir's arms and a five dead spiders. Levi rolled his eyes.

"Okay who did this?"

No one spoke.

"Brats this is getting tiresome!"

Eren's green eyes flashed. "What's getting tiresome Heichou is you constantly suspecting us! No one is noticing that Aururo is slowly edging away from us?!"

Like a spotlight everyone turned to Aururo. Ymir was silently considering turning in a Titan right then, but she settled for setting Krista in Eren's arms and stalking towards the quivering mess that was Aururo. Levi grabbed her arm and stopped her. "No fighting within the ranks. We need every able body to fight against the Titans."

She snarled at him but backed away. Eren gave Krista back to Ymir and Ymir announced that she would be sleeping in Ymir's bed tonight. No one argued. In her own way Ymir was more frightening than an angry Titan Eren.

Levi called Aururo over and told him his punishment. "Clean up the dead spiders. And clean this entire floor in the castle. Also, you're the one that will being mucking out the stables this week." He said louder for his squad to hear. "I don't approve of these pranks and I don't want my men doing them. Is that clear?"

"Sir!" Levi nodded. He had no trouble being a hypocrite.

Eren went back to his room and sighed into his pillow. A clang of bars and then light footsteps sounded. Someone was paying him a visit.

"Yes Levi Heichou?" No one else had the key. Not even Mike. He slowly got up and faced Levi. "What is it that you need?"

Levi grimaced. "Look kid, I know it was Mikasa who did that to my room. I'm calmer now. I'm not going to kill her, as much as I'd like to, we need her. I was wondering if you would join me in a prank against your sister."

Eren stared at Levi. "Why me? I'm sure Armin has more brains than I do."

"Armin doesn't have the guts to pull off a prank on Ackerman. You do."

Eren smirked. _Come to think of it, I need to get some revenge on Mikasa myself. _ "What did you have in mind, Corporal?" Levi let a ghost of a grin cover his face. Opening the door he slipped inside Eren's cell and sat on the bed. That night was spent discussing how to solve a problem like Mikasa. Levi knew that with Eren he could pull this off. But it would only work with Eren.

**Dun Dun Dun! What is on Levi's mind? And nope this isn't turning yaoi…but it is getting to a climax soon. I'm running out of devious pranks. If y'all have some pranks then send them my way via a review. (Makes sure that they're pretty clean. I want everyone to be able to enjoy this = )**


End file.
